truth.

truth

truth

Truth.

“Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.”

—	Lauren Kate

truth.

“This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you’ve felt heartache. You can’t have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died.”

—	If You Have To Cry Go Outside, Kelly Cutrone

truth.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most.”

—	Maryanne Williamson

Truth.

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.

Limbo.

Dancing
to my own beat.
But
still.
Limbo.

Running
as fast as I can.
But
still.
Limbo.

Dreaming
so vividly.
But
still.
Limbo.

Praying
louder than ever.
But
still.
Limbo.



Just a thought.

Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

Truth.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting” 

—	E. E. Cummings (via light-essence)

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

Truth.

"And I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, I learned that life is about sitting on benches next to ancient creeks with my hand on her knee and sometimes, on good days, for falling in love."

- Nicholas Sparks 

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

Truth

Here's to staring into the sun, when you used to close your eyes....

Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

Truth.

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

Truth.

But, if you are lucky enough to find that someone... love what you have. Cherish what you have. Stop focusing on the "what ifs" and focus on what is. Because at the end of the day, that's all that matters.

Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

Truth

Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

Truth

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about. ~Marilyn Monroe


Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

"A Beautiful Mess" by Jessica Michelle

A beautiful mess.
I have become.
Wanting so much
but coming undone.
Fighting myself
to win the war within.
A greedy heart
has become my sin.
Pull myself back
time to watch the clock.
My tears are typical
and easy to mock.
The past, it haunts me
I try to escape.
Flashbacks from yesterday
I try to reshape.

A beautiful mess
Its all the same.
We are all just players
in this casual game.
Words spoken too fast
or not at all.
The heaviest of hearts
have the farthest to fall.
Catching a glimpse
of the night to come.
Wishing on stars
that have already gone numb.
Breaking the silence
with a voice in the dark
My heart screams out loud
trying to make it's mark.

A beautiful mess.
I've come to decide
More than what you see
there's so much inside.
Whispers mean nothing
when spoken from afar.
Challenging words
no longer leave a scar.
Forget the tear drops
that have fallen like rain.
Simple moments from the past
no longer carry pain.
Eternity's the only promise
one can ever understand.
Love is the only answer
to the matter at hand.


Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

"Sunrise" by Jessica Michelle

Sunrise
Your in my sight
The power you have over me
On the horizon
All that is right
And not just what seems to be

Sunrise
Your on my mind
With nothing in between
Morning to darkness
Darkness to light
Its so much more than it seems

Sunrise
You lift my soul
And carry me in between
Moments we've forgotten
That once took their toll
remembering all I've seen

Sunrise
You've brought me here
To the place I long to be
Dreamt for my heart
to see clear
For you to come rescue me

Sunrise
I've taken you back
And feel safe to set you free
To light the way
For all that I lack
You've given me faith in me.

Always Blushing
♥
Jessica Michelle

Shine on... just a thought.

It's so easy in this day and age to lose the light that has the ability to shine so bright inside of us. I know from personal experience just how easy it is to get caught up in all of the "what ifs" and the "should haves" of the world and lose sight of all the amazing things that are right in front of us. Why do we let all of the negative things that could happen get in the way of us seeing all of the amazing things that are happening?
         If we were to every day take a step back and really take a look at all of the beauty that surrounds us.... take a look at all of the smiles that are sent our way... take a look at all of the flowers that are blooming... if we just took a few minutes out of each day to realize just how much life we have left to live, I think we would stop looking at all of the life that we are "losing out on". We might start to see all of the blessings that we gain each day.
   
Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

Truth.

It's time to sit back.... take a breath... and realize all of the amazing things we have right in front of us.

Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

Failure.

“I don’t believe in failure, because simply by saying you’ve failed, you’ve admitted you attempted. And anyone who attempts is not a failure. Those who truly fail in my eyes are the ones who never try at all. The ones who sit on the couch and whine and moan and wait for the world to change for them.”

—	Sarah Dessen

Life.

"THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Do what you love. And do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't have enough time, stop watching tv. If you are looking for the love of you life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing. All emotions are beautiful. Life is simple. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open you mind, arms, and heart to new things and people. We are all united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is. And share you inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet and the things that you create with them. So go out and start creating. LIFE IS SHORT. LIVE YOUR DREAMS. AND SHARE YOUR PASSION."

Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

Revamping.

Revamping my blog. As days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months... I am noticing that I am changing in life. My thoughts. My views. My dreams. My passions. It is time for me to start embracing these changes, rather than being afraid and running from them. It is time for me to tell people "If you don't like me... that's fine. But this is me and that's all you are getting. Nothing more. Nothing less." No more bending my thoughts to please the world around me. Time to revamp this blog and bring Blushing Out Loud back to a place where I can find myself. And that is what Blushing Out Loud is about... celebrating the things that you believe in
Keep Blushing World
♥
Jessica Michelle

"Set it Free... Let it Go"

I woke up in a horrible mood today... frustrated, upset, and a little hurt. But damn it, life is too short to hold onto negative feelings. So, I am letting it go... along with a long list of other negative feelings. There is no point in holding onto to anything that doesn't make you smile. So, here is a list of some of the things that I am working on letting go of today...
* frustration
* stale tears
* insecurities
* jealousy
* fears


Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

Truth

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

“Just be happy and don’t be stupid.” — Adele

             I will be the first to admit, WAY too often I am guilty of becoming a "stupid girl".  I get caught in my own mind and create stories upon stories upon stories. I am so good at letting my imagination run wild, it is almost scary. I am usually able to force myself to shut the book that I am creating in my mind, but, there are times when I continue to write chapters in my head. If you were to disect my brain, you wouldn't find books... you would find shelves full of novels. And the truth is, I know better than to do this. I caught on to this habit of mine years ago. And yet I still allow myself to get caught up in it. Why? I am literally sitting here laughing at myself, because even as I write this, I am creating stories in my mind about something that is bothering me. It is ridiculous.
        I have asked myself repeatedly why I do this? And after years of trying to figure it out, I think I know why I do it. So often in life we are told that we are not good enough... that we are not worthy of certain things. We are always pushed to become more than what we are. And, if you are told it enough times, you start to believe it. And when you start to believe that you are not worthy of certain things, you get scared when those things start making their way into your life. You almost expect that things will go wrong. So, why not be prepared for it? Why not be prepared  for any heartache or disappointment that will come your way? And my way of becoming prepared??? I start imagining the worst possible outcomes. When you imagine the worst, 2 things can happen.
                1. The worst actually does happen, but, at least you were prepared. No surprises involved. You are ready with a wall up, and defenses high. (Didn't say this way healthy btw, lol)
              2. Something *less* than the worst happens, and you have more strength to deal with the situation because you had been prepared for a tougher battle.
             Neither of these 2 outcomes make it worth while. When you create stories in your head that involve other people, all you are really doing is creating a barrier between you and that other person. And more often than not, the other person is undeserving of that barrier. These stories are a result of fear.  Fear caused by our own insecurities. And at least in my experience, they usually have very little to do with the other person.
              So. . . . solution?!?!!? Well, I am working on it. It all starts within. Realizing, that

*YES, you are deserve happiness. 

*YES, you deserve good things in your life.

*YES, you deserve someone amazing in your life.  

*YES, you deserve to smile. 

          Once we start to realize and appreciate just how amazing we are, we will be more willing to allow amazing things to not only enter, but STAY in our lives. 

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

Take a Step Back

 

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

"Perfection"...... I hate that word......

         "Perfection".... it is quite honestly one of my least favorite words in the world. I know through struggles of my own in the past, this word has lead me to feelings of inadequacy and pain.  Webster defines "perfection" as:  freedom from fault or defect . We live in a society where if you appear to be outside of the "norm" in any way shape or form or if you do not fit into the standards by which have been deemed to be 
"perfect", then you are going to be judged by what you are not instead of being appreciated for what you are. 
        There are so many levels of beauty in the world... so many places for us to see beauty. If we would only really open our eyes and take a look we would see that we are surrounded by it. We are so quick to judge a person by the way that they look, that we sometimes completely over look the things that really matter in life. Imagine all of the amazing people that we miss out on knowing, simply because we are unable to free ourselves from the walls that we put up.
       Not only do we judge others unfairly, but we get so caught up in comparing ourselves to what we think society wants us to be, that we lose who we really are.  We forget, that at the end of the day, we close our eyes and no longer see our reflection in the mirror, but we hear the thoughts that travel through our mind and our heart. How amazing would it be if we could focus more on our thoughts and our purpose in life, than our weight and our skirt size? 
          Anyways, just a thought... I definitely have more to write on the subject, but it is getting late and I need my beauty sleep. K*I*D*D*I*N*G!

Always Blushing

♥

Jessica Michelle

"Sunrise" by Jessica Michelle

Sunrise
Your in my sight
The power you have over me
On the horizon
All that is right
And not just what seems to be

Sunrise
Your on my mind
With nothing in between
Morning to darkness
Darkness to light Its so much more than it seems

Sunrise
You lift my soul
And carry me in between
Moments we've forgotten
That once took their toll
remembering all I've seen

Sunrise
You've brought me here
To the place I long to be
Dreamt for my heart to see clear
For you to come rescue me

Sunrise
I've taken you back
And feel safe to set you free
To light the way
For all that I lack
You've given me faith in me.



 Always Blushing

♥

Jessica Michelle

"Beauty of Who You Are" by Jessica Michelle

It's the beauty of who you are
as I watch you walk away
you tried to save yourself
for a rainy day.

Looked into the mirror
and saw through your looking glass
stayed up to see the moonlight
and let the memories pass.

Walked the dusty path
searching for the day
starry nights and whispers
that were soon to come my way.

Dancing in the twilight
rain drops on my cheek
stars beaming down
catching words we don't speak.

A moment in my history
A memory in my night
remembering what was
even though its out of sight.

Battled for tomorrow
but what you couldn't see
this war I've been fighting...
it was all within me.

No longer just a dream
I've found my way
from broken paths of emptiness
to a brand new day.


Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

"Don't Label Me" - Jessica Michelle

I am an original. 

Don't label me.

I have given up being

what you've wanted to see.

A work in progress

I'm ok with that

Dreams over flowing

and giving none back.

I am an original. 

Don't label me.

I am an original.

Don't label me.

Fought too long

to let my soul fly free.

Yes, I put it out there,

open your eyes to see

my heart in the sky

thats where it'll always be

I am an original. 

Don't label me.

I am an original. 

Don't label me.

Plenty before

but none like me.

Quiet on the outside

screaming from within

a pure heart of love

but yes, I still sin

I am an original. 

Don't label me.

I am an original. 

Don't label me.

Never giving up hope

of what has yet to be.

I dream with eyes open

beauty fills my soul

patience and a calm hand

all the while out of control

I am an original. 

Don't label me.

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

"Bare Naked" by Jessica Michelle

I have posted this poem before, but it is stuck in my mind for some reason today.... soooooooooo reposting!

I'm bare naked...

but I'm dressed from head to toe.

My heart out in the open

there's nowhere for it to go.

I traveled and searched so long

only to walk this road alone.

I'm bare naked...

I'm on my own.

I'm bare naked....

but I'm dressed from head to toe.

these eyes they keep on searching

for something to call my own.

I wait and wait and wait some more

for a voice to lead me home.

I'm bare naked...

I'm on my own.

I'm bare naked....

but I'm dressed from head to toe.

So much to be discovered

so much more than you know.

More than just a vessel

swept up in the undertow

I'm bare naked...

I'm on my own.

I'm bare naked....

but I'm dressed from head to toe.

There's a truth in my reflection

Singing a song you should know.

Throwing away the mask

Screaming to let go.

I'm bare naked...

I'm on my own.

I'm bare naked....

but I'm dressed from head to toe.

Giving into the heartache

and learning to let go.

Listening to the tear drops

they tell me all I need to know.

I'm bare naked...

I'm on my own.

I'm bare naked....

but I'm dressed from head to toe.

A soul to be discovered

learning lessons as I go.

A temple to be honored

My value someday I will know.

I'm bare naked...

I'm on my own.

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

I Dream In Love...

I dream in love.

In a silent rage

thoughts filling the void 

and now filling the page.

        I am the type of girl that wears her heart on her sleeve. That is not only a well known fact, but it is a ridiculously obvious fact. Take a look at my blog or my Facebook page (either of them), and you can tell right away that I have no problem expressing how I feel. I have gotten over the guilt and/or the silliness that I once associated with expressing negative feelings. I used to think that it was so much better to sugar coat things, rather than to tell the world how I was really feeling. I was wrong.
         There was, however, a point in my life where I did keep my thoughts and opinions to myself. I was afraid that if I voiced how I really felt about something then that would open the door for other people to voice how they felt about me. That was one of my BIGGEST fears. I was so afraid to know what/how people really felt about me. I did whatever I could to really vanish into the background and become as un-noticable as possible. I stopped putting any effort into how I looked... I am 5'10.5 and  I already felt like I stood out. I figured if I stopped putting any effort into how I looked, well, that would help me to vanish into the background. And if I vanished into the background  there wouldn't be any way for anyone to notice me. And, if they didn't notice me, then they couldn't judge me. I didn't like myself, so why would anyone else like me? If I couldn't think of positive things about myself, then how would anyone else be able to? I could see so many negative things about myself and I figured that that was all that anyone else would be able to see. I thought that it would be an easy thing to do.... to sit back and try to hide from the world. And at first it was. But I got so caught up in hiding myself from the world, that I began to forget who I was. It's a scary place to be when you look into the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back... its even scarier when you close your eyes and night and don't recognize the tune that your thoughts are dancing to. And one day. I snapped. I woke up. I stopped (for the most part) giving a damn about what people really thought about me. It is definitely a struggle to keep the negative thoughts out.... but it the more love I put out into the world, the easier it becomes to allow love in my own life.

Always Blushing
♥
Jessica Michelle

“Don’t think outside the box; think like there IS no box.”

          Isn't it amazing how easily we can get trapped inside our minds? Running around in circles trying to find the way out? We can run and run and run and still never find the door that we are looking for. But, once we slow down... take a breath... and look around us, we see that, while the door we are looking for may not be there, there are plenty of windows to look out.
Anyways, just a quick thought.

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

The Important Things in Life

The important things in life

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”
“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”
“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.
Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

*thanks Mom*

Always Blushing;

♥

Jessica Michelle

"Bad boys"... yeah, I tend to love 'em... but why?

The "Bad Boy"

I admit it. I have, on occasion, been attracted to the bad boy type. I will be the first to admit that the whole bad boy look gets to me. But why? Why would I be attracted to anything that had been labeled "bad". After reviewing a few things from my past, I have come to the following conclusion (aside from the fact that I love tattoos and bikes, lol)...  Bad boys are safe. Yes, I am fully aware of just how ridiculous this sounds. Believe me... I have thought long and hard about that statement. But, in my opinion they are safe. The whole world knows just how much of a romantic sap I am. I would rather find a true and lasting love then win a million dollars. So, why, if I am looking for that kind of love would I be attracted to the bad boys? The guys that are known to be heart breakers... I have asked myself this repeatedly and the only explanation that I can come up with is the fact that "bad boys" are so much safer than the "good guys". I hate it, but many of the "good guys" that I have met this past year have turned out to be "bad boys" in disguise. Which, in the end, is so much harder to deal with in my opinion. They are like wolves in sheep's clothing. Seemingly innocent, and just when you aren't looking, they attack. It catches you off guard. It is easier to deal with an attack when you are prepared for it... when you have your guard up. I honestly believe that there are still some genuinely good guys out there, its just a matter of being able to see past the mask that most people wear.

Anyways, just a thought.

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

Dear Me....

Dear Me,
I know I have been so much harder on you than I should have been. I have a tendency to put other people's hearts ahead of yours. I quiet you when you try to tell me that you are hurting. And I bring people back into your life, that sadly, I know will hurt you again. I don't listen to what it is you really need to make your soul smile. I let the negativity that other people allow in their own lives seep into your mind. And I let it work against you. I don't give you credit for all of the truly amazing things that you do. Instead, I focus on all of the "mistakes" you've made. All of the things that you could have done better. I allow other people to create dreams and goals for you, instead of letting you follow your own dreams. I am your worst critic, when, in fact, I should be your biggest supporter. Bottom line, I haven't been treating you the way I should.
But know this. You ARE loved. You ARE amazing. You ARE blessed. You deserve to smile. You deserve to shine.

Love,

You

Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you;

 you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." 

-Bob Marley

  

                  

So, the question is.... how do you know when someone is worth keeping around? Talk about a difficult question! I am a firm believer that people come into your life for a reason. I believe that each person that you meet... each person that you interact with... they all leave some sort of wake in your life. Whether it be a gentle wave crashing in on the sands of your life or a thunderous storm knocking down everything in its path. The decision as to how long they remain in your life, well, thats another question.

      Pain is OBVIOUSLY a part of life. There is no way around it. You will hurt people. People will hurt you. It's going to happen. The only thing that we can do in life is try our very best to not hurt others. But what do you do when there is someone in your life that you care for, who does mean a lot to you but you are continually hurt by this person? Is it purposeful? Maybe, maybe not. Either way, how do you decide if the the good times are worth the heartache? How do you know if and when it is time to say enough?

     This is something that I think everyone struggles with at one point or another. It can be fairly easy to say goodbye to someone who hasn't been in your life that long. But, when it comes to a person that you have a history with; a person that you have a strong connection with (whether it be a friend, a family member, or a person you were in a relationship with)... what is the deciding factor in your mind that makes you think, "Thats it. I have had enough." This is something, that unfortunately, has been on my mind quite a bit over the past few months. There are a few people that I seriously have so much love for, but no matter which way the wind blows, there is always something hurtful coming out of their mouths. And, as painful as it has been, I have severed ties with these people for the time being. Do I miss them? Of course I do. But, at the same time, I know that my heart is much safer with it this way for now.

       Yes, at some point in life I will hurt the people I love. Yes, the people I love, at some point or another will hurt me. Its a part of life. All I can do is hold faith in my heart that I those around me are honest and loving in their intentions.

"Love comes from a sure heart,

a good conscience

and 

a sincere faith"

1 Timothy 1:5

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

"Free" by Jessica Michelle

take a deep breath

bring yourself back

stop beating yourself

for all that you "lack"

there's beauty inside

so much to be seen

don't get lost in the darkness

or what lies in between

here on earth

lies a heaven and a hell

quiet tears and heartache

you've known them well

they took up room

buried deep in your heart

with you for so long

but now its time to part

dreams do come true

as often as tears are cried

a true heart remains

but beauty will subside

open your heart

to the dreams that lie within

to push them aside

would be a great sin

forgive yourself

for the tears of the past

moments that are forgotten

and memories that still last

always believe in love  

it comes to those that are free

free enough to believe 

free enough to see

Always Blushing,

♥

Jessica Michelle

"American Woman" by Jessica Michelle

American woman,
walking right on by.
Wearing a-line skirts
to hide her thighs.
Tossing pennies into
the fountain of youth;
covering herself up
to banish the truth.
Nip and tuck,
from head to toe.
Her true self,
she doesn't know.
Late at night ,
she sits alone.
Waiting for the "answer"
to phone.
American woman,
inside out...
lying to herself
only to cover the doubt...


Always Blushing,
♥
Jessica Michelle